Colorful Lucid...

Time can tell,
No Tales.
memories,
               The Trickster
In the tiniest glimpse of light
When the full moon
                                plays games
with where I tread,
           A million words may have
           been the preparation,
           The warmth,
                  The touch,
The CURL of THOSE lips...
  But in this place there are no words...
But comfort;
and a gentle - slow- soft
                                       FRAGILE heart
And the story we must tell
when I close my eyes,
the colours around me -
Seem impossible,
I seem to fly, with you.
Yet grounded we are amongst these snowy peaks,
where the flames of our fire flicker and fall
and die,
            To Flicker once again - in the night.
And in the dawn;
all the LIGHT created shall be gone;
as
   You
         Change
                     Depth -
As do I:
It is your eyes I shall seek,
Your smile - Your UNDERSTANDING 
of this SOUL. 
Where ice now looms, cold and bold, all around us, as I reach out
and call your name - the echo is all that surrounds me...

You have gone, and I realise - LEAVE THIS PLACE 

for THIS is but a DREAM

Take off - FLY - 
So close to the sun where
I fall - Quick Shallow Breaths
           POUNDING HEART - a room - a BED! 
Not REAL?

It was just a Lucid Dream - OR WAS IT?
 

 

LIGHT BEARER

When the Sun goes down -
The day diminishing,
and my
           path
is no longer
                  LIT.
I cannot see my way -
My forest filling with a grey bleakness,
becomes silent - as I
Stand here alone with but a single torch of light,
small in the dark,
the flicker of it's flame -
                                       DYING - but an ember -
little HOPE.
Like so much, so MANY things we hope for...
HAVE HOPE IN.
I stand here, I wait,
how to PROCEED.
Should I lose my small flicker,
then I am lost.
Oh - but this journey through these woods -
it has been for what?
To find what? To find WHOM?
Parts of me have become ungrounded along this trek,
like a mist,
                  Swirling in all directions and uncertain.
And from the corner of my eye - I see my flame go out!
And I stand - LOST - disillusioned.
No Light Of The Moon.
Nothing to light my path,
                                        Give me HOPE.
A question crosses my mind:
If I have no light to continue on my quest,
how can I possibly give any further light to others?
What are the chances, Right here, Right now?
WHO -
            Will be MY
                             LIGHT BEARER?
And the answer comes swiftly:
                                           
                                                 No one!
And so the darkness enfolds me;
                        and I must succumb.

HOPE

The sun Shines.
The birds Sing.
My HEART beats.
My SOUL SOARS.
My LIFE AWAKENS.
A new day
                Begins...
New Hope arises.
The Pain of yesterday -
                                      Lingers still,
and
      Always will.
But less each day.
And it is realized that you
CAN move on - You MUST.
You have no choice,
for you cannot stay there.
The past does not want you.
But the gift of today DOES.
Accept, all that has been.
Understand your lessons.
FEEL that pain.
And start again.
I will be here for you.
Come snow or sleet.
Night and day.
Cry here with me.
And in the palm of my hand
I shall hold your tears.
And tomorrow there is
HOPE, for yet another
chance.
Each day - Your life begins again.
Give thanks - and know that what has been
LOST -
will in God's time,
come
               AGAIN!

DECIPHER

I have questions,

to ask.

Perhaps of you.

And perhaps of no one.

And maybe, there are no questions.

What happens in this mind of mine?

Where does it go?

Where do I wonder.

Tell me: Why am I RELEVANT?

Tell me, what is it that draws you to me?

Or is it me to you?

Do we even know?

Do I, Have I,

Made a difference?

Do I light up your sky?

There are moments, perhaps split seconds in each day, where I am lost

and INCOMPLETE.

Where there is a tear in the fabric of my existence,

and a moment later it reseals itself – as if -

there was never a void.

I know these words are complicated.

Even hard to decipher.

I doubt you could even read between the lines.

It's because this is it.

This is me.

Strange.

Complicated.

I have found.

I have LOST.

I have hated,

I have Loved,

and I do LOVE.

I have hurt.

I have BEEN hurt.

And I do STILL cry.

Because people tell me,

they have been hurt so badly that they

                                                  Choose

not to feel.

Shut down all emotion.

I would have to  

                    BEG TO DIFFER.

Who are you?

What are you?

And what will become of you, if you follow this path?

PAIN. I have suffered it.

HURT. Been integral to my life.

Everything that you have suffered,

                                               I have suffered too.

Perhaps to different degrees.

But the essential difference between us is this:

                            Take a stab at my heart.

                              Hurt me as best you can.

                                Hate me. Or love me.

                                 Laugh WITH me.

                                    Be my friend.

                                     Save my enemy.

                             Choose your path with me, 

                                 and I will take it all. 

I will accept your anger, hatred and the

pain you cause me.

I will HOLD the laughter and the love.

Because this is who I AM.

More.

I am MORE.

And so are YOU.

I WELCOME everything you throw at me.

I EMBRACE it all.

And after all is said and Done,

I hope and pray that you and I and all of us will come full circle. 

That you will finally be

                                         COMPLETE!

The Puzzle Piece

The Puzzle Piece: 13 April 2013

I am whole,

And I feel complete.

And then – there's something missing.

All thought processes slow down -

and there seems a strange distant darkness,

it's inside – I know this.

And in this gloom, I feel around, inside myself -

Inside MY SOUL.

I hear my own breath -

                                  Hear my own HEART, beating to a slow silent

                      Rhythm,

And I feel, I touch, I reach out.

But it's complete – I AM WHOLE!!

WAIT! There is something MISSING!

The darkness has changed,

light has infused,

but still in there, where I can now see,

there is but one small patch of blackness,

and a sharp light catches my eye,

as if from a small and clear jagged shard of glass,

A tiny slice of my being, broken out and fallen to the ground.

And I feel that to be complete once again – I need to reach out

and take it – Replace it.

But FEAR grips at me – small as it is;

                                       That shard will CUT ME;

                                       Slice at my skin;

                                       Slice at my SOUL -

as it has done so many times before,

               and there is no adhesive – 

no glue that might hold this one tiny bit in place.

THIS TIME: Do I leave it?

Let it lie there? Will it eventually disintegrate?

Disappear?

But it MUST!

For I will risk my soul no more;

this is a puzzle piece that I can do without -

I KNOW THIS,

but I am held back,

I hold myself back – for this LONGING!

For this

CRAVING!

And suddenly I am reminded of ALL I STILL HAVE – so much -

LOVE,

        TENDERNESS,

                             COMPASSION,

                                                  LIFE!!!

I dedicate this post to anyone who has loved and lost! And loved!! 

FLUID TRANSITION

It's been a haunting time.

A haunting distance.

With every fluid moment and movement filled

with visions...

as though blinded...

                                Spell CAST...

Upon Me... but by whom?

                                         You?

My Guides?

Speak that which you wish:

Out loud, into the world.

Leave it there.

                      Leave it to rest.

Repeat your desire often.

Call BACK that which is yours,

                                              THAT WHICH IS MINE.

I shall have nothing LESS and nothing more...

But are there more lessons for me to learn from this?

                           One planned by ME,

                         Unbeknownst to YOU?

How clever I have been.

How cunning.

How I realized my doing.

And yet, I was silent.

                                 Was I not?

But this was truly a heartfelt request,

                                                           Cunning or no.

I am encumbered with this debt

Owed.

And grateful for it with the depths of my soul.

But be Cautioned:

There are messages within messages...

Layer upon layer...

To everything I do,

Everything I have said.

And I wonder, who are we now?

Is the change great?

This TRANSITION?

Which one, amongst us hides?

Hides Secrets... Afraid to tell?

“All you have to do is ask. The RIGHT Questions.”

XXXXX

Emerald Green (Continued)

How was this possible?

Perhaps in her loneliness up here in these mountains;

she'd imagined him. She laughed at this idea.

Was she so desperate for company,

that she would imagine a man before her? And only for a few moments?

A vivid imagination, certainly she had one,

but this felt nothing like a waking dream.

She tried to recall exactly what she saw,

what she felt, and she knew that she should be paralysed by fear –

yet she felt nothing but a strange calmness,

and logic told her that because she felt no fear,

what she saw could not have been real.

Darkness fell now, completely enveloping her in it's cold blanket,

with the first icy stars glinting in the sky, as she tilted her head upward to the heaven's to behold their wonder, and tried to think of her surroundings:The cool mountain air, the trees and forest surrounding her home, the mountains in every direction she looked, the valley's far below – and the snow, how she loved the snow. All these things invigorated her, had made her feel that she was alive again. And now, she couldn't stop her mind from returning to the stranger on her land, to the beautiful and unearthly being which had appeared and disappeared as suddenly as if it had not happened at all... but something within her knew... she saw it's eyes, it was real. It MUST BE REAL. But how, if a man, did he gain entrance to her property, which was secure. What was the purpose of his visit? If given a moment or two longer, then perhaps she would have found her voice and asked...

But something tugged at her mind, something she was purposefully leaving out of her memory... she had no choice but to confront what she denied.

She had not seen him arrive, for all she knew, he'd been standing there at the edge of the clearing for minutes watching her, as she beheld the sunset... and then when she had noticed him, and his eyes shone luminous for her, as though showing a display, he did not retreat into the forest. He did not turn his back and walk away... How was it possible that he just vanished into thin air?

She tried to recall his clothing, what he was wearing, and she could not see any detail in her minds eye, only darkness that seemed to surround him, like a halo, his face was almost a shimmer, she'd thought, and then his eyes lit up, like a switch had been turned on, and those eyes seemed to hover before his face, and she'd felt a kindness in them, a raw soft emotion beginning to make itself known to her, before it was suddenly ripped away...

Emerald Green

And with the fading of the sunlight,

She beheld him,

A wondrous creature.

His presence, his beauty, his darkness.

A shadow, he must be, a trick of the light, fading,

and she unable to focus on any one feature of his face -

but knowing he was beautiful, even though she could not see...

and then his eyes shone brightly in the darkening light of the day -

Shone preternaturally, luminous, the most beautiful emerald green she had ever seen.

They seemed unearthly, out of place, as though hovering,

Were they eyes at all? But their gaze held fast to her -

and then his presence was gone!

Vanished.

And the mountain air shifted around her, and she felt as though she had just awakened from the deepest slumber,

Yet she knew she had not slept.

The pressure in the air seemed heavy, as it had before...

before the man appeared. The man? Was it a man at all?

She could tell no such thing, she could say only that a dark figure

appeared before her eyes, and then seemingly just vanished.

Her mind ran rampant: What did I see? Was there really someone there?

Was it a man? Did I imagine it? Should I PANIC?