UNinspired/Incomplete

I felt as though days were missing.
I slept, woke up and there was a gap.
In recalling you.
But days are not missing, I did not sleep and wake up
- yet there is still space.
At that particular time, I was never satisfied.
At that particular time - I was incomplete, one way or another.
My self worth lay in something lost.
My self worth was held in something that did not/does not exist in my life.
In my world.
That was incorrect of me to even consider trusting. Not that I did.
Friendships are what's wanted - demanded - insisted upon. The norm.
But at the same time MORE is also wanted - demanded & insisted upon.
The subtext, and layers below words. REAL meanings.
Satisfaction in what we have is never a given.
Certain things feel wrong now - unbalanced.
Incomplete.
Moving forward in a vacuum - trying to, is pointless.
Examining & experiencing something that doesn't really exist: WHY?
Don't know you.
Thought I did.
Thought I might.
Pretentious and fake.
Could not know you.
NOT in this lifetime.
Maybe, not in any.
Surprising to me? Shouldn't be. I should know better. I do.
And so I shall heed the warning.
No matter.
Regardless,
I will now RELINQUISH (to give up), uninspired.
Because it's
                   EASY
                           to NOW DO SO.

Coiled Spring - WOUND TIGHT

Coiled Spring,
                       Wound Tight. 
Internal Pressure - about to burst. 
Heart Beating 1000 Miles an hour
Uncontainable.
Extreme Emotion
Fire Roaring
Tearing Through ME
Ripping Me apart
Every Fiber, Every Molecule. 
I see you in my minds eye. 
I see a Vision of you and I. 
How do I put into words the sight that I see? 
How do I put into Words what I FEEL in my SOUL?
Deeply. 
Entwined.
As you look into my eyes.
LOCKED together - absorbed by one another,
We take of each other - time and time again.
Over and Over.
A delicious, sliding, wetness.
Coiled Spring - WOUND TIGHT,
Coming unraveled, internal pressure, 
Reaching it's peak. 
Uncontained,
Unbound, 
An Immense Explosion.

Cannot Erase...

Feel. With every fiber, with every breath.
Deeply.
Know. Without a doubt, the pain you feel is real.
A loss again. Come undone.
And you should never have been permitted this allowance.
You should have restrained yourself.
Lay it down.
                   Let it go.
Your life has complete meaning
                                                   Even without...
I know the pain you feel is immense.
I know it leaves you weakened. Broken. Torn.
And it will pass. But RIGHT NOW - I'm not so sure.
Those hidden tears -
                                  that MASQUERADE, and your BRAVE face.

I know those tears eat away deep into your soul, like acid -
leaving an emptiness, so incredibly vast & profound.
And these words, are insufficient as a comfort.
I can only try. But I have failed,
                                                    for I cannot erase...



                                                

Answers to THESE QUESTIONS.

Quiet.
Alone.
Away.
Space.
Time.
For
You
To think.
Become rational.
In a
Decision.
Make certain.
Of
Your Choice.
Ignorance
the same
as ignore.
After
Each
break
of 2
days, I become doubtful. Of me. Of the silence. And uncertainty seems to have been forever there, deep in my bones. I was sure that it wasn't that way, that just on Friday I flew high, and knew something elusive that today I DO NOT.
Just beyond my grip. With smooth silky substance felt on my fingertips, and then with casualness just slipped away... Monday - it is gone. Again. And again. And Tuesday, will it return? The answers that I seek? Eventually:
yes.
It
Will.
But
Perhaps Answers - NO.
Because maybe, just maybe, there
are
NO ANSWERS TO 
                              THESE QUESTIONS.

To NOT GIVE UP. (UN relinquished)

And so a soul said to me:
Continue with whatever you may feel. Stuck. Frustrated.
And I have no words, am confused beyond the boundaries of who I should be.
Contemplate all that is, and more. Much more.
And now I find: My mind is clear. Albeit I am in two.
A live wire, a raw nerve. These images.
You. Us. ALL.
Unknowing.
Uncontrollable.
Worn down & smiling.
Thrilling to wonder what tomorrow will bring.
What words, what feelings, what emotions.
What thoughts.
And so the bar is raised yet again, what a spin on reality.
Looking down this tunnel. What is this based on?
Really, what are the grounds on which this foundation is built?
And is it strong?
How can we be certain?
What if changes were made, however subtle to all those surrounding,
and the incorrect path were taken. Or perhaps the correct one.
Would the difference be immense?
And yearning for a dangerous truth.
One forever currently present.
And at the time uncalled for,
                                       and currently UN relinquished!