Relevance of the past

I had a friend...Gone. Now. 3 years. I recall a memory, so intense, they all are. Sometimes I wonder where you are, who you visit. Your passing, leaving, was never an easy thing, still at times isn't.
But HOW do I tell, WHO do I tell? Would it be easily understood? The fact that I loved you once? A soul now, a spirit.
I sense you at times, know you're there. Wonder what were the moments of finality like for you, what were your impulses? WHO were your impulses? Would there have been a difference in
the RELEVANCE of the PAST???

I Don't think so...But then, it's not something to be revealed.